31/12/2011 - Totally Understood

2011 has nevertheless comes to the end. And so does the best things in my life.

I'm such an emo girl right now. I didn't expect this would ever happen to me. You were someone who's the closest and dearest to me in my life right now. And you just left me sobbing without a note.

I such a dream breaker. We have so much dreams.

We plan to get married in a couple of years.

We plan to buy a house together. A home to be exact.

We wanted to travel around the world together.

We wanted to have babies together.

We wanna stick and grow old together.

We always wanting to have a future together. And all these beautiful little things had crashed by me pieces by pieces without mercy.

I don't deserve to have such a perfect boyfriend like you, Gim Hong.

You treated me like a princess.

You showed me love and care with your own unique way.

You called me whenever you're free.

You brings me laughter all the time.

You drive all the way from Klang just to see me.

You bought me lots expensive stuffs just to see me smile despite your financial difficulties.

You tried to change your temper for me.

You always stuff me with delicious food.

You baked & cooked for me.

and list goes on.

and most importantly you do it all without expecting any returns.

It melts my heart, totally.

I'm a lousy girlfriend. For god sake, I've made the same mistakes twice. I've never been matured and confident enough as i thought I am. I find faults all the time. But you will come back to me every single time, but this time, you've confused and started to back off.

However, the truth always lie flat. I knew this day would come that you finally wanna give me up.

I swear I never ever want to leave you, but i know you wouldn't happy to be with me. I chose to let go even though that would be my last ever option if i need to choose.

You're so dearly to me that I wanna see you smile sincerely deep from your heart and not pleasing me.

Forgive me for being so lousy, immature, jealousy, sensitive and stubborn. I know it's all over and done.

"我就是我我不完美，但我会因为简单的理由开心，我经常冒冒失失，碰到很多麻烦，我会失眠，我会内疚，我会伤心，会偶尔口是心非."

Sorry.

Love and cherish you always.