Monday, May 11, 2009

LMAO

Let's L-A-U-G-H~~

DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady,
I'll turn into stone.* *
A part of me is getting hard already!

ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.* *
'Your name pls'?
'Abdul Aziz '
'Sex? '
'Six times a week!! '
'No, no, I mean male or female! '
'Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !'

HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy and...* *
Wife on the cover of 'missing persons'

VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone
to read :* *
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: ' RETURNED UNOPENED

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???





THINK PEOPLE!!






Coz she didn't know anything and he had forgotten. @.@




OK, Lame.. next
Top 10 Rejection Lines
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean...)

10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my dad)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've got a boyfriend (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).

5. I don't date men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)

and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it really means)
1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing.)


Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men (and what they actually mean...)

10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)

6. I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)

5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)

4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)

2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)


and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)
everything.
1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.) jantan teruk!!

Dictionary
EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND: A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT: What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.


hope they made ur day too!! good night~~

4 comments:

waiqueen said...

haha~ the "you are ugly" is a nice one.
eh i can't send msg to you in msn..

jean said...

yea.. why leh? something with my line i think.. hehe..

fluotone said...

the arabian man was hilarious.. reminds me of one of those austin powers movies where they asks his sex and he answers, "yes please" lol :)

jean said...

hahah.. ya!! i was laughing like a mad woman.. ey, sound familiar.. next time you can use that line wei..
hahaha.. i'm going sabah tmr!!!!